What are you going to do every day?

Many people have asked me what I plan to do in China or what am I going to be doing every day.  And honestly, I don't know what to say to people when they ask me.  Because I won't be working, I get the feeling that some people think I am going to be sitting around eating bon bons and shopping all day. ;o)  And anyone that knows me, knows I will definitely be getting my shop on in China, but I hope that's not all I will be doing.

 "The decision to grow always involves a choice between risk and comfort.  This means that to be a follower of Jesus you must renounce comfort as the ultimate value of your life."

This quote is from a book I am reading, If you want to Walk on Water, You have to get out of the boat, by John Ortberg.  This is exactly what I am wanting out of my experience in China, to be able to trust God wholeheartedly.  I think I do, but do I really?  I am always holding back because I am afraid of what people think of me, because I am afraid to talk to strangers about God, because I am afraid if I live my life the way God really wants me to live it, that means I have to give up stuff that I don't want to give up.

One of the reasons, from the very beginning, that I have felt God telling me China is where He wants Michael and I right now, is so that I can grow spiritually.  I feel God has a plan for me in China.  I don't know what it is, but I have felt at peace about leaving and it is because I know in my heart that is where God wants us right now.

I live a comfortable life here in the United States and I know I am blessed and I do try every day not to take the blessings God has given me for granted.  But in China, some of those comforts will be gone.  Being able to just call up my friends to hang out, losing some of my independence because I cannot drive myself around, the food will be different, the smells will be different and communicating will be difficult.  But you know what?  I honestly do not have any reservations at all about going.  I have a real peace inside, that I know is coming straight from my Heavenly Father.  Because it is not coming from any strength of my own. 

I know and expect many challenges during my time in China. And I do not expect to get through all of these challenges with flying colors.  I know me and there will probably be a lot of crying and feeling sorry for myself.   But I am trusting God to help me through these challenges.  The quote that I have at the beginning of this post is a big challenge to me.  But I know in my heart that God has brought me to a place where I can say that I definitely would rather live my life doing what He wants me to do, even if that means giving up things that bring me comfort and things that I value.  And believe me, I have not always been able to say that.  The majority of my life I have only been thinking about myself and what benefits me.  But I praise and thank God for His grace and mercy and bringing me to a point where nothing is more important to me than my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

So I guess what I hope I will be doing with my time is China, is spending a lot of time with God.  I hope to be able to develop relationships with people and I hope that God's love shines through me onto them.  And I hope that through this blog you can all be a part of my spiritual journey in China.

I can only Hope

I was reading Relevant Magazine today and an article I read really spoke to me. The author was talking about how he was preparing a sermon for Easter and he knows that a lot of people only go to church on Easter and Christmas and he wanted to give a sermon that would make them want to come back.  So he was reading through the Gospels and reading different times when Jesus spoke to big crowds and he found that the message Jesus gave was often one that caused people to leave.  He said that he apologized to the congregation that Sunday for sometimes "selling Jesus cheaply and watering down the Gospel."  He said that he would often times leave out hard scriptures that made it clear that "the invitation to follow Jesus was an invitation to serve, sacrifice and even suffer."  He quoted Luke 9:23 "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take their cross daily and follow me."

As time draws closer for me to move to China, I feel like this is the message that God has been giving me.  I need to serve more and sacrifice more and yes, scary as it is, maybe even suffer.  I will have a lot of time on my hands in China and I hope to fill my time finding ways to serve others and spending more time with God.  I have felt that God has been telling me there are going to be a lot of lessons to learn in China.  And I pray I am open and prepared to learn what God has to teach me.

I have always considered myself a rather weak person.  So I can only hope to grow through this process.  I am sure there will be many sacrifices.  Don't get me wrong, I know we will not have a hard life in China. In some ways we will have a great life in China.  I don't have to work ;o), we will have a larger house, by no means will we be scraping to get by.  But I will be sacrificing time with my family and close friends, sacrificing the comforts of home and things that are familiar, not knowing the language, etc...  And I can only hope that the sacrifices I do have to make, make me spiritually and emotionally stronger.

I want to leave you with a quote from Dallas Willard that has been a quote I go back to often to remind me that there is more to this "Jesus thing"  than just going to church on Sunday or praying to Him when I want something.  I need to do my part to try and be the disciple that He has called me to be.  

"There is absolutely nothing in what Jesus Himself or His early followers taught that suggest you can decide just to enjoy forgiveness at Jesus's expense and have nothing more to do with Him."
-Dallas Willard from The Great Omission