Many people have asked me what I plan to do in China or what am I going to be doing every day. And honestly, I don't know what to say to people when they ask me. Because I won't be working, I get the feeling that some people think I am going to be sitting around eating bon bons and shopping all day. ;o) And anyone that knows me, knows I will definitely be getting my shop on in China, but I hope that's not all I will be doing.
"The decision to grow always involves a choice between risk and comfort. This means that to be a follower of Jesus you must renounce comfort as the ultimate value of your life."
This quote is from a book I am reading, If you want to Walk on Water, You have to get out of the boat, by John Ortberg. This is exactly what I am wanting out of my experience in China, to be able to trust God wholeheartedly. I think I do, but do I really? I am always holding back because I am afraid of what people think of me, because I am afraid to talk to strangers about God, because I am afraid if I live my life the way God really wants me to live it, that means I have to give up stuff that I don't want to give up.
One of the reasons, from the very beginning, that I have felt God telling me China is where He wants Michael and I right now, is so that I can grow spiritually. I feel God has a plan for me in China. I don't know what it is, but I have felt at peace about leaving and it is because I know in my heart that is where God wants us right now.
I live a comfortable life here in the United States and I know I am blessed and I do try every day not to take the blessings God has given me for granted. But in China, some of those comforts will be gone. Being able to just call up my friends to hang out, losing some of my independence because I cannot drive myself around, the food will be different, the smells will be different and communicating will be difficult. But you know what? I honestly do not have any reservations at all about going. I have a real peace inside, that I know is coming straight from my Heavenly Father. Because it is not coming from any strength of my own.
I know and expect many challenges during my time in China. And I do not expect to get through all of these challenges with flying colors. I know me and there will probably be a lot of crying and feeling sorry for myself. But I am trusting God to help me through these challenges. The quote that I have at the beginning of this post is a big challenge to me. But I know in my heart that God has brought me to a place where I can say that I definitely would rather live my life doing what He wants me to do, even if that means giving up things that bring me comfort and things that I value. And believe me, I have not always been able to say that. The majority of my life I have only been thinking about myself and what benefits me. But I praise and thank God for His grace and mercy and bringing me to a point where nothing is more important to me than my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
So I guess what I hope I will be doing with my time is China, is spending a lot of time with God. I hope to be able to develop relationships with people and I hope that God's love shines through me onto them. And I hope that through this blog you can all be a part of my spiritual journey in China.
No comments:
Post a Comment